One of the recent items of debate being discussed by the Board of Directors are ways to reduce the cost of provisions. Providing participants with meals at events is a tricky thing - people have food allergies, and there isn't always time to cook a great meal when you're running between activities. That's why I find more of our members at the funnel cake stands than I care to admit publicly. But food gets expensive, and considering how much gets thrown away, I think its safe to say the operation is not as efficient as it could be. And we all know efficiency saves time, money, effort, frustration, grumbling... well, you get the picture.
As a dutiful Dockyard Superintendent I feel I should propose some sort of solution to the problem. And I have just the proposal for every one's needs. The Armour Corporation has been making top quality canned and preserved foods since 18-eh hem yeah. Their Pork Brains in Milk Gravy would be a delicious solution. Just open the can, pour contents into heating container, hold over heat source and five to ten minutes later - voila! The 5.5 oz cans are easily meted out at one serving per person per can, which means several days rations can be carried in a single haversack. The empty cans can be used to make miniature tin candle lanterns, paint pots or boat soup buckets. The residual aroma will add an extra bit of charm to whatever is done with them. This delicious food is available from any number of low grade supermarkets for less than $0.20 a can.
So go out and buy some - give it a try. I really do think it will be a great addition to our future programming.
Note, the dockyard will not be providing sickness bags. All issue gear must be returned in a condition that is free of stains or odors. All hands aboard watercraft experiencing symptoms of sickness are directed to the lee rail and should not loiter in bilges. Notify your petty officer if you experience discomfort, swelling, cramps, bleeding or gas with oily discharge. The Naval Heritage Society is not responsible for spoiled under garments.
Enjoy your lunch!